


"I just really need to have you here right now."

by G4LL0WSC4LL1BR4T0R



Category: Homestuck
Genre: But its not in the story, F/M, M/M, canon character death, maybe not, nightmares and stuff, probably humanstuck idk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-02
Updated: 2014-08-02
Packaged: 2018-02-11 11:11:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2065974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/G4LL0WSC4LL1BR4T0R/pseuds/G4LL0WSC4LL1BR4T0R
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For a writing prompt I posted on Tumblr; give me a pairing and a phrase and I will write a oneshot based on that.<br/>Eridan/Sollux, "I just really need to have you here right now."</p>
            </blockquote>





	"I just really need to have you here right now."

**Author's Note:**

> i honestly dont know what universe this takes place in its something between alternia w trolls or earth w humans i think i have no idea its 5:30 am

There were a lot of things Sollux regretted. There were a lot of words spoken that he wished he could take back, a lot of actions he hated himself for, a lot of things done that couldn't be undone. But what he hated himself for most was what he hadn't said. He couldn't remember his last words to Aradia. He couldn't remember the last time he'd said he loved her before she was gone. He couldn't remember the last time he saw her.

Sollux did remember the voices started after she was gone. At first, it had just been hers, and the therapist said it was a symptom of PTSD. But then the others came and eventually hers faded and now his therapist called is Paranoid Schizophrenia and had him on pills. He hated taking them, but they silenced the voices for the most part. Just not when he was asleep.

When he was asleep, hers was always the loudest. She was always screaming.

He regretted trying to shut her out. He regretted waking up. After all, that was the only time he could hear her anymore.

The first few times it happened, he'd woken screaming as well. Now, his eyes would open and he'd just stare at the silent blackness of the night. He didn't tell his therapist.

He'd lost a lot of weight since the accident. He forgot to eat unless someone reminded him. He didn't tell his therapist that, either, but she noticed the weight loss anyway. 

She asked him about other friends he had.

There was Karkat. He was the most worried about Sollux, probably, but he was also trying to work things through with Terezi, who had just lost her eyesight. Karkat forgot to check in on Sollux half the time, and Sollux found he didn't mind much.

There was Feferi, who he hadn't spoken too since the accident. She always reminded him of Aradia.

There was Kanaya, who he tried to avoid as much as possible. She mothered him a lot, and even though he needed it he found it annoying.

There was Terezi. They hadn't spoken since the accident either.

There was Eridan, who told it like it was and always chewed Sollux out for being so self-centered. Eridan, who was probably more self-centered than Her Imperious Condescension herself. Eridan, who was the only one who was really able to pull Sollux out of his slump with his blatant refusal to do anything but talk about himself.

Sollux pretended to hate Eridan, because that's what their relationship had always been like, but he knew that he'd be lost without him.

Sometimes, when the dreams got worse, Sollux would find himself scrambling for his phone when he woke, calling the first number that came to mind. Sometimes it was Karkat, who would talk to him until he pretended to calm down. Sometimes it would be Kanaya, who was always awake, and would talk to him until morning came. When Sollux called Eridan, he would be chewed out for waking him, but he would somehow find a way to keep talking for hours before hanging up. Eridan was really the only person that made Sollux feel better.

Tonight was one of those nights. His phone was in his hand and he was pressing 'call' before he knew who he was even calling. His hands were shaking when he held it up to his ear.

Three rings later, he was met with a grumble of, "Jesus Christ, Sol, do you have any fuckin' clue what time it is? The answer is 'time for Eridan to be gettin' his beauty sleep.' What the hell do you- God, Sol, are you crying?"

Sollux had tried to let out a shaky breath, but it caught in his throat and turned into a sob. He reached up with his free hand and touched just under his eyes. His fingers came away wet. "I guess I am." He says softly, his voice breaking on the last word. How long had it been since he last cried?

"Fuckin' hell. What are you sobbing about at four am? Why was it so important to interrupt my sleep?" Eridan asked, which caught Sollux off guard. In his own, backwards, asshole way, Eridan was actually asking Sollux what was wrong.

Sollux opened his mouth to tell Eridan about the dreams, about how it was the only time he could hear her again but it was always in so much pain. He wanted to tell him about how bad he felt for all the things he had and had not said, about all the things he had and had not done. He wanted to say how lonely he felt, how miserable it was, how sometimes he wanted to stop taking his pills so he could hear the voices and have some damn company. But the words stuck.

"I... I just really need to have you here right now."

There was a pause, then a long sigh. "You're damn selfish, you know that? God, I'm not even going to shower. I don't care. You'll just have to deal with my body odor." There were sounds on the other end of the line, Eridan getting out of bed. "Give me twenty minutes and I'll be there. But you better repay me!"

Eridan hung up after that, leaving Sollux almost dazed. He's surprised himself by saying that, and Eridan had surprised him with his reaction. Maybe the hatred was underlined with love on both sides, whatever form that love took. Perhaps it was pity, on Eridan's behalf. Sollux wouldn't doubt that. But, even as much as he hated to be pitied, he decided Eridan's way of showing it was easy enough to deal with. Better, anyway, than Karkat's or Kanaya's.

True to his word, Eridan showed up twenty three minutes later. Sollux greeted him at the door and he pushed his way in, taking off his scarf.

"So why am I here?" He asked, draping his scarf over the arm of the nearest chair, then stripping off his jacket.

"I don't know, you were the one that came." Sollux mumbled, glaring at the jacket like it had insulted his mother.

"Yeah, no fuckin' shit? But you were the one who asked me to be here." Eridan folded his arms and turned to look over Sollux. "Christ, Sol, you look like shit. When was the last time you had a proper meal?"

Sollux hesitated. He actually had to think about that. "Yesterday, I think?" That is, if pop tarts counted as an actual meal.

Eridan groaned. "I'm taking you out for breakfast later. But I'm making you fuckin' sleep first. You look like someone who went through a concentration camp."

"Is that why you came? To put me to bed?" Sollux asked, frowning at Eridan now.

"I came because you were crying, fuckwit. Come on, go to bed." Eridan was now shooing Sollux into the bedroom.

"I'm not a baby, dumbass! And you're not my fucking mom." Sollux said, although he was backing up into the room.

"Well then don't act like one! And I know I'm not your mom. If I was your mom, I would have killed you long ago."

Sollux sat on the bed and glared up at Eridan. "What are you going to do? Leave after I go to sleep?"

"No, you moron. I'm going to sleep on your couch like a fucking prol and then take you out for breakfast like I said I would."

"Wow, so generous." Sollux deadpanned. "You don't have to sleep on the couch, you know. The bed's big enough for the two of us."

Eridan scowled. "Was this all some elaborate plan to get in my pants, Captor? Because that's fuckin' underhanded, even for you."

"Ew, no!" Sollux made a face to emphasize just how disgusting the idea was. "It's because if you sleep on my couch I won't ever hear the end of it and, contrary to what you might think, I don't actually like hearing you bitch about your first-class problems all the damn time."

"Please. If you didn't love the sound of my voice, you wouldn't call me when you have nightmares."

Sollux's eyes narrowed. "How do you know I have nightmares?"

"Uh, because it's obvious? Why else would you call me and wake me up at all hours of the night, sounding like you just seen a fuckin' ghost? I'm not an idiot. Now move over, I'm gonna get in."

Sollux moved back and lay down, finding he didn't have any reply to that. Eridan knew about his nightmares, did Karkat and Kanaya know too, then? Probably. Which would explain why they treated him with such blatant pity when he called.

Eridan lay next to him and, within minutes, was snoring softly. Sollux turned and studied his sleeping face. So Eridan's brow could come unfurrowed, it seemed. He looked so peaceful, almost like a different person.

Sollux turned away again and moved back until he was up against Eridan.

The few hours of sleep he got were dreamless.

**Author's Note:**

> i tried so hard and got so far but in the end it doesnt even matter


End file.
